Too Cool

I know that I've said I'm too sophisticated to care about seeing celebrities (and I am), but you may want to know that I have been in close proximity to a few well-known personalities in the past few months.

I sat near Jude Law in an airport lounge, stood behind Paul McCartney in the security queue at Heathrow (yes, they made him queue and even frisked him) and sat across the aisle from Orlando Bloom on a flight.

Of course I did not take pictures or acknowledge them in any way. I'm way too cool for that.

Last Call

UK's Metro tells of a pub landlord who, after spending his whole life in the pub where he was born, decided he wanted to spend eternity there as well.

The article explains:

The 83-year-old's last order was that his ashes were laid beneath the flagstone floor of the pub. His final resting place is now under a plaque reading "Stand here and have a drink on me."

A fitting end!

Rick Roll

Have you been Rick Roll'd yet?

Once again, I'm incredibly behind the curve. I just just found out about this popular internet meme that has been going on for some time now. Even more embarrassingly, until I heard about the Rick Roll, I didn't even know what a meme was.

As this article in the Guardian explains:

It's called the "rick-roll". You're innocently browsing an apparently useful website and see a link to something else that might be of interest, but when you click through to that destination you instead find yourself confronted with Astley's boyish smile, his manly croon, his awkward 1987 dance-moves.

The link was a fake, a trap, a dummy with the nefarious purpose of...bringing you face-to-face with the ridiculous.

You can find out more about this phenomenon here.

Merry Christmas

Calfornia Christmas

Goodbye clouds and rain!

Today I'm leaving for California. Normally, I spend Christmas in the cold, snowy Midwest, but this year my extended family and I will impose ourselves on relatives in Monterey County. It's not the warm sunshine of Los Angeles, but it will still be pretty nice.

And hey, it sure beats the usual.

It’s a Pitiful, Dreadful Life

Since I first watched the film sometime in my early teens, I've been a great fan of Frank Capra's "It's A Wonderful Life" starring James Stewart and Donna Reed. For those who have never seen it, Stewart plays George Baily, a frustrated small-town businessman with unfulfilled dreams.

When faced with financial ruin, George attempts suicide, thinking that the world would be better off if he'd never been born. Fortunately, his guardian angel saves him from death and shows him what the world would look like if indeed he had never been born, causing George to appreciate how full and important his life has actually been.

This is truly a brilliant film and, although a bit schmaltzy, never fails to entertain and lift my spirits, even after twenty or thirty viewings. At least that's what I always thought.

Wendell Jamieson in the New York Times posits a different take on the film. He says:

“It’s a Wonderful Life” is a terrifying, asphyxiating story about growing up and relinquishing your dreams, of seeing your father driven to the grave before his time, of living among bitter, small-minded people. It is a story of being trapped, of compromising, of watching others move ahead and away, of becoming so filled with rage that you verbally abuse your children, their teacher and your oppressively perfect wife. It is also a nightmare account of an endless home renovation.

I must admit he's right. I should have realised this earlier, especially as my favourite line in the film is when George says to Mary: "You call this a happy family? Why do we have to have all these kids!" And surely anyone can see that alternate-world Pottersville is a much more fun and exciting place than exceedingly dull (film) real-life Bedford Falls.

Maybe the real message of the film is "Sure, life sucks, but it's all you've got, so make the best of it!"

Not that it matters. I still love this film and can't wait to see it again!

Speed Racer

UK's Metro reports that a man in Cleveland has been fined for driving his motorised sofa to a Browns game. It seems the sofa's owner usually just drives his "go-kouch" around the parking lot during the pre-game tailgate parties, but this time he decided to drive it down the street to the stadium.

He encountered problems when a police officer cited him for driving an unregistered vehicle and having expired license plates. Kill-joy! Although I think he should have got credit for even having license plates at all, expired or not.

Here's the video:



Of course, this is far from the worst driving offence I've seen reported. I especially like the story of the Estonian man arrested twice by police. CNN reported a police spokeswoman as saying, "We arrested the same blind man driving his car again on Saturday. . . He was drunk."

Presented Without Comment

(thanks to WhatCrisciLikes)

$50 Billion Pyramid

In these times when institutions and individuals have lost billions by over-leveraged investing in complex financial derivatives, it's interesting to see that some people still manage to lose money the old-fashioned way--in a pyramid scheme.

When federal agents arrested Bernard Madoff in New York last week, it brought an end to what may be the largest fraud scheme in Wall Street history in which investors may have lost up to $50 billion.

In the same vein, I've since learned about an even more unsophisticated way to lose money: a ponzi crawl.

The Urban Dictionary defines a ponzi crawl as:

A pub crawl that adds a new person to buy a round at each location. Each new person is promised that they will get free drinks at all the future bars if they buy this round. Obviously, whoever joins the ponzi crawl last gets screwed!

Let's get some suckers to buy us beer on a ponzi crawl this weekend.

While increasingly complex and sophisticated ways to swindle people out of money will continue to emerge, the tried and true remain steadfastly reliable.

A Very Chav-y Christmas

The Evening Standard reports:

A SCHOOL has created a "Chav Nativity" play containing alcopops, Jesus turning water into lager and Mary labelled a "slapper". . . In it Mary tells the Archangel Gabriel to "stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no Kappa-slapper" when he informs her she is expecting a child, before her cousin Liz encourages her to go through with the pregnancy because of the "extra benefits".

Instead of a stable, Mary and Joseph break into a garridge (sic) where the Three Wise Men or "these free geezers", as they are known, come bearing gifts only to have Joseph reprimand them for not bringing Adidas and Burberry instead of "Frankenstein an' myrrh".

Students studied the play set in "Beflehem" in drama lessons focused on use of language, but of course, some parents have objected. Seems they're concerned about the school condoning improper speaking. I think they need to lighten-up and focus on something important.

You can read an extract of the play in the article here. My favourite line: Gabriel says to Mary, "You got one up the duff, you have."

This is really brilliant. I wish I were clever enough to write stuff like this.

Dining with the Rat Pack

During my recent California sojourn, I had dinner at Dan Tana's Restaurant, the self-proclaimed "ultimate Hollywood hangout" with "a client list that reads like a Who’s Who of Hollywood."

I'm always skeptical of restaurants that hype themselves this way, but apparently, proper A-list celebrities actually do eat here.

More importantly, Dan Tana's delivered on both food and experience. The small dining room with red leather banquettes and the professional and efficient waiters make it feel like you're back in 1965 - I half expected Dean Martin (a regular customer in his day) to walk in any minute.

And while some have criticised the food, predominately old-school southern Italian red sauce and garlic, as mediocre, we found our dinners to be quite tasty. My fried calamari starter was great and the New York strip steak (named after actor Dabney Coleman) stood out as possibly the best I've had anywhere.

Although we didn't see any celebrities (that's not why we went anyway - we're way too sophisticated for that), we enjoyed a great meal and a terrific time. Hat tip to my pal Steve for taking us there! I can't wait to go back.

A Milestone

The site's visitor counter just passed 500!

Now I know that many of these visits are from me. Although the counter does not include visits from my browser, sometimes I check-in on the site from other computers (vanity).

And granted, I've noticed that many visitors leave after only one second, so they either landed here by mistake or really don't like what they see.

Nonetheless, people have come, and have come from many diverse geographies. Improbably, some even stay to read this stuff, which amazes me given the craptacular nature of the material.

So, thanks to all of you who take the time to read this drivel. I'll attempt to keep posting on a not-too-irregular basis, which I hope will provide you with at least some mild amusement.

City of Water

I am fortunate to travel to Venice fairly regularly. Although I have not visited for a few weeks, I've found the pictures of the recent flooding there pretty scary. While the city normally experiences some flooding during high tides, this month's floods are the worst in decades, and the city has been virtually under water for nearly two weeks.

The Venetians, of course, have reacted with their usual aplomb, and have remarkably tried to live their lives as normally as possible. And while the city's mayor warned-off tourists last week, hotels are now trying to lure them back with special offers and free rubber boots.

Events like this remind me of this beautiful and unique city's fragility. I'm glad that I have the opportunity to enjoy it now -- who knows how long it will be around?

California Dreaming

As much as I like London in Winter, sometimes it gets a bit tiresome.

Returning to London can seem especially harsh after spending nearly a week in the southern California sunshine and warmth.

Is it possible to be homesick for someplace that's never been your home?

Perhaps it's time for a change in scenery.

That's All Folks

Is this the best epitaph ever?

I spotted this headstone while wandering through the Hollywood Memorial Park Cemetery, now called Hollywood Forever Memorial Park, during a recent visit to Los Angeles.

For those who may not know, Mel Blanc provided the voices for Bugs Bunny, Porky Pig and the other Warner Brothers cartoon characters. The epitaph echoes the famous sign-off from the Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies cartoons. Very witty and appropriate!

I've since learned that it this is in fact a very well-known, even famous, epitaph. Still, it was new to me and I got a good laugh from it. Note the carrot placed at the base of the tombstone, presumably left in tribute by a fan. Nice touch.

Many personalities from the entertainment industry lay buried in this cemetery located adjacent to Paramount Studios, including famous names from "old Hollywood" like Rudolph Valentino, Douglas Fairbanks, Peter Lorre, and Tyrone Power. It's a uniquely Hollywood place and well worth a visit if you're in the area.

Delightful Dining

Remember this?

I've found the antidote in Los Angeles:

Good Riddance to Clamshell?

I have never understood why the manufacturers of consumer electronics insist on wrapping their goods in impenetrable plastic, making the merchandise tantalisingly unobtainable. Often, nothing short of a power saw can pry the wrapper open.

Now, thanks to this article in the New York Times, I have learned that this packaging is called "clamshell" and that there is a reason for this madness.

In an attempt to boost sales, manufactures switched to this type of packaging from boxes so that customers could see the products on retailers' shelves. At the same time, they made them impossible to open to prevent these items from disappearing out the door in shoplifters' pockets.

Fortunately, help is on the way. Realising that more than 6000 people in America a year sustain injuries serious enough to send them to the emergency room, some manufactures, including Sony and Microsoft have launched efforts to make their packaging more user-friendly.

Let's hope they succeed!

Meet the Buttertons

I just saw an ad for "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" that features a retro-sitcom family called the Buttertons, who's favourite food is, no surprise, butter. Apparently the campaign has been running for quite a while now, but I've never seen them as I don't watch TV in the US very often.

Now, like the Buttertons, I've always enjoyed butter excessively - it's one of my favourite food products. So while this still photo from the ad is meant to be exaggerated and ridiculous, it looks pretty delicious to me!

The Two Ari's

I'm sure that everyone now knows that Barack Obama's soon-to-be White House Chief of Staff, Rahm Emanuel, was the model for the Josh Lyman character on the West Wing. For me, that alone should be qualification enough for the job.

However, I was surprised to find out that Rahm's brother, Hollywood super-agent Ari Emanuel, is the model for the acerbic and foul-mouthed agent Ari Gold, played by Jeremy Piven on the TV series Entourage.


I am mega-impressed that both brothers have managed to become TV characters, but even more so that they are two of my very favourite TV characters.

For your amusement, here's a site of Ari Gold quotes. Filthy and side-splitting.

The Politics of Penne Pasta

On the night of the 2000 US presidential election, we dined on one of my favourite dishes, Penne alla Vodka, while we watched the unfolding TV coverage. I remember enjoying this tasty meal as the apparently good news arrived from the early returns. Confidence grew, and it looked like the beginning of an enjoyable evening.

As the night wore on, good news turned to bad and joy turned to disappointment. The delicious meal that I enjoyed earlier that evening no longer sat so well with me. Since then, each time I face a plate of Penne alla Vodka, memories of that night flood back and my stomach begins to churn.

Given this history, I'm not sure why that, as I plan for this year's election night dinner, I am considering tempting fate by putting Penne alla Vodka back on the menu. Perhaps I am hoping it will exorcise the ghosts of 2000 once and for all.

On the other hand, perhaps it's too risky. This election remains way too close, and I don't want to do anything that may tip the balance. I think we'll go with the chicken.

Election Day Approaches

As the US election night gets closer, I've been thinking about how to spend the evening. Spending the night, actually, as the time difference means the first polls do not close until midnight UK time and the last not until the early morning hours.

I have been feeling more and more nervous about the outcome and my previous cautious optimism has now given way to high-anxiety. It gave me no comfort to read in the NY Times that many other Americans share these feelings with me.

Nonetheless, I am looking forward to election night and the ensuing TV media frenzy that accompanies it in all of its excessive glory. Fortunately, Chelsea play AC Roma in a Champions League match that evening, so that should divert my attentions for a couple of hours until before the polls close.

Now I just need to decide what coverage to watch. It looks like CNBC Europe will broadcast the NBC News feed, so it will probably be between them and CNN. Certainly I will not watch Fox News, unless it turns out to be a Demoncratic landslide. Then it might be kind of fun.

A Goldilocks Moment

Upon entering my hotel room on a recent trip to suburban Venice, an unexpected choice confronted me. My room contained three single beds side-by-side.

My first thought was "I feel like Goldilocks. Which one should I choose?"


I decided to try all three, but unfortunately, I did not experience the satisfactory outcome that Goldilocks achieved.

Bed one: too hard. Bed two: too hard. Bed three: too hard.

In the end, none were "just right," so I chose the middle.

The porridge, however, was another matter altogether. . .

So Long 161st Street & River Avenue

Until I read about it in Monday's New York Times, I had completely forgotten that this was the last season for storied Yankee Stadium.


Reading the article rekindled dormant memories of the stadium where, while living in New York during the eighties, I spent many nights and afternoons drinking warm-ish and semi-flat beer from cardboard cups and eating dirty-water dogs.

I vividly recall seeing Dave Righetti pitch the first Yankee no-hitter in 27 years against the Red Sox on July 4, 1983.

During those years, I also enjoyed the lightning fastball of Ron Guidry and revelled in the circus surrounding Billy Martin's repeated comings and goings as Manager.

Although the Yankees of those years played great baseball and won a lot of games, they failed to win a World Series title. Fortunately, this did not diminish the experience at the ballpark.

Thinking about those days makes me wish I had made one last trip to see a game this year. Unfortunately, I didn't think about it. Living 3,500 miles away in another country has allowed my interest in the Yankees to drift away.

The new Yankee Stadium will undoubtedly provide a great venue for a ball game, and while I am sure I will like it, it will never replace the original.

Someone commented that the "the ghosts will simply walk across the street" to the new stadium. Maybe, but somehow I don't think so.

Moving Downmarket

Without commenting too much on the merits (or not) of the US Government's "Cash for Trash" free bank-recapitalisation proposal, many fear that the wholesale wealth destruction and taxpayer-funded costs from the current financial markets turmoil may ultimately usher in an era of lower living standards.

FINTAG's Newsletter asks "Will Century 21 become the new Bergdorf Goodman?"


Having worked across the street from the downtown New York Century 21 Store for more than ten years, I've shopped their countless times, so I think I'm OK with that. I will just need to sharpen my elbows for my next visit.


As the New York Times says: "Goods, Yes; Services, Not Necessarily"

Music From TV to Me

Every once and a while I re-discover how amazing the internet really is.

For a while (well, a few years actually), I had been wondering about a song used as background music for a Vodafone TV ad that aired back in 2002. I kind of liked it and wouldn't mind having it on my i-pod; however, I had no idea of the song's name or who recorded it.

Finally, I decided to see if I could find the song. It took about three minutes. I found a site called Song of the Salesman, a database of music from UK television commercials, searched for "Vodafone" and found the song in about thirty seconds.


This is a very cool site. I guess I didn't need to wait six years to find it -- the ease in which I found the song makes me feel silly for procrastinating. But hey, I didn't have an i-pod back then, so it really wouldn't have mattered.

Oh yeah, the song is "Bohemian Like You" by The Dandy Warhols

Discover The Dandy Warhols!

My Library

I have finally started to enter my books into LibraryThing. It's a slow and laborious process that will probably take me months, buy I'm determined to do it. As a consequence, the sidebar on this blog titled "What's On My Nightstand" that I've set up to let you know what I'm currently reading (or attempting to read) will not accurately reflect my current reading list.

The widget that powers this utility shows my most recent entries into LibraryThing, so as I progress through the thirty-year catalogue catch-up, it will show the last five books I have entered. Once I have completed the process and start entering what I'm currently reading, it will again become accurate.

Not that I expect that any of you care, but just wanted to keep you up to date!

Bye-Bye Blighty

A few weeks ago, I commented about how many British had opted to take their holidays in Britain rather than travel abroad. Well, after a cold and rain-soaked August, sentiment has shifted. So long to Blighty's dreary shores and hello to the sunny Med.


The Evening Standard reports that bookings for foreign holidays have soared by more than 150%. The article says:

Sun-starved Britons who holidayed at home this year to help save the planet and ease the credit crunch are now rushing to book overseas trips. Travel firms say there has been a huge "never again" backlash after a rain-drenched August, during which thousands of families decided not to fly to cut their carbon footprint. . . Many customers booked as soon as they got home from this year's summer trip.

Jonathan White, managing director of VFB Holidays, said: "We've spoken to lots of people who have sat through the wet weather here. Their view is simple: blow the recession: We need to get away somewhere warm. . .we've already opened our 2009 bookings and are hearing from people who've returned from rain-soaked UK holidays vowing 'never again'."

So, bugger austerity and saving the environment. The masses are voting with their feet and they want sunshine on their holidays! Looks like Boris Johnson was right all along.

Fred Mertz

Maureen Dowd's NY Times column today describes John McCain as "pea-green with envy" over the attention and adoration given to Barack Obama. The article quotes a Senate colleague as saying about McCain,

“His image of himself was always the handsome, celebrity flyboy. Now somebody else is the celebrity,” the colleague continued, "while John looks in the mirror and sees his face marred by skin cancer and looks at the TV and sees his dashing self-image replaced by visions of William Frawley. . ."

I'm pea-green with envy that I didn't make the Fred Mertz-McCain connection.

After further reflection, I've come up with some suggestions for a potential Mertz administration which would markedly improve upon today's lot.

Captain Binghamton as Secretary of Defense. . .

. . .and for Attorney General. . .

Summertime

This year, an interesting phenomenon is overtaking Britain: many British are forsaking overseas holidays to spend them in Britain.

The Wall Street Journal reports:

Bookings to European destinations from the U.K. are falling. . . "People in the U.K. are trading down, and British resorts stand to benefit from that," said Bob Cotton, chief executive of the British Hospitality Association, an industry body. "The sinking pound makes the sector much more appealing for Europeans looking for a bargain."

Leading U.K. politicians are following suit. Prime Minister Gordon Brown, who usually holidays on Cape Cod in the U.S., will stay at home in the eastern English seaside town of Southwald this summer. Conservative opposition leader David Cameron, who also usually vacations abroad, is heading for Cornwall on England's southern coast.

Now, heading for sunny Greece or Tuscany for one's holiday has become downmarket. It's cool to stay in the UK away from the masses. It's environmentally friendly and frugal, especially in these tough economic times.

Goodbye St. Tropez, hello Skegness!

The problem is, it rains a lot in Britain (and it's cold too), which makes it difficult to enjoy the beach properly.

Boris Johnson, London's recently elected Mayor, has bucked the trend. In a commentary for the Daily Telegraph, Boris skewers politicians who think it is their duty to holiday close to home and says that he will go somewhere "as sunny and foreign as possible."

Boris says, "I am going to take a holiday abroad, and in my view it would be absurd, hypocritical and frankly inhumane to do anything else."

I'm with him!

The Ugliness Begins

The Texas Republican Party has found itself red-faced for allowing a vendor to sell this button at its state party convention last weekend.

According to the Dallas Morning News, the vendor has apologised and the Texas GOP has denounced him, pledging to donate the $1,500 it received in rent for his stall to a charity. Pretty lame, really.

This not-to-subtle reminder of reality might give us sneak peak at what's to come as the campaign unfolds over the next several months. While many of us like to think that we've moved beyond race, the unfortunate truth remains that even as America contemplates electing a black president, racial tensions have not entirely abated and an often-suppressed undercurrent of racism persists in many parts of the country.

Until Republican party leaders take racism seriously (fat chance - remember the Republicans are the party of fear), there will be no shortage of those willing to exploit racial prejudice for political gain.

Just Slightly Ahead of Its Time

Speaking of technology of the future: Maxwell Smart and his innovative and multi-use 1960's mobile.

When the real thing came along about twenty years later, it wasn't any smaller and it didn't have the added benefit of also serving as a shoe!

It took a while to get where we are today.