Dining With the Fishes

A great week for extraordinary dining experiences continued tonight in Valencia, Spain.

The restaurant at L'Oceanografic, the city's beautiful aquarium and marine park located in the spectacular "City of Arts and Sciences" complex, features a dining room surrounded by a huge aquarium. Thousands of fish swim past the tables as diners enjoy delicious local specialties.

I wonder if it is considered bad form to eat fish in such a setting. At the very least, it may draw some disapproving looks from the spectators. Luckily, we had paella that contained no actual fish, only chicken and mollusks.

I Lurve the Louvre

Tonight, I had the priviledge of attending a private dinner at the Louvre in Paris. Although we did not have the opportunity to view the art, we did enjoy a fabulous dinner in a unique and splendid setting. And of course, being in France, the food. . . magnifique!

Drac's Back

A huge banner of Avram Grant looking his most Draculesque greeted the fans arriving for the Carling Cup final between Chelsea and Tottenham at Wembley today.

Unfortunately, the Prince of Darkness' black magic had no ill effect on Spurs: they won 2-1 in extra time. Maybe we need Boris Karloff on the staff as well.

What's Opera, Doc?

Some people believe that I am culturally deficient because my limited knowledge of opera comes almost entirely from watching crap television.

I must confess that this is true. The core of my education on the subject comes from a couple of Seinfeld episodes based on The Barber of Seville and Pagliacci, but I have also learned a lot from Bugs Bunny cartoons. What's Opera, Doc? based on Wagner's Ring remains a classic (who could possibly forget Elmer Fudd singing "kill the wabbit!"?) and The Rabbit of Seville gets its inspiration from. . . well, it's obvious isn't it?


However, the source of my knowledge does not invalidate its worth. Television has filled a gaping whole in my cultural education, for which I'm eternally grateful. It has allowed me to learn about opera without actually watching or listening to an opera (a major plus).

In fact, it's not only opera that I owe to TV. I have also gained an appreciation for classical music in general from listening to the scores accompanying Looney Tunes and Merry Melodies cartoons. I may not know the piece or the composer, but I can easily recognise many of the important works from watching, and listening to, these cartoons.


Because of television, I can participate in conversations about opera and classical music without immediately giving myself away as the complete parvenu that I am. For me it's all gain, no pain!

Although, do you think perhaps it is too much that my entire knowledge of Shakespeare comes from 10 Things I Hate About You, Shakespeare in Love and a Doctor Who episode?

Here's to the Minnows

Today, Chelsea host League One side Huddersfield Town in an FA Cup tie. The chance for small clubs from the lower leagues to compete against the big guns in this competition remains one of the great traditions of English football.

For Americans, this would be like the Akron Aeros of the AA Eastern League playing the New York Yankees for the chance to play in the World Series.

Cheering for the little guy against Premier League teams is great fun (come on, who wasn't hoping for Luton Town to beat Liverpool), especially when they win. Huddersfield has already beaten Premiership side Birmingham on their way to Stamford Bridge.

Don't get me wrong, I will support Chelsea in full voice today and hope that we crush Huddersfield 5-0. I just like it when the minnows beat the other guys!

UPDATE: Liverpool 1 - Barnsley 2

Liverpool continues to struggle against lower-league teams.

Order from Chaos

I have long thought that efforts to control traffic on London streets have been over-engineered beyond effectiveness and actually make traffic flows worse rather than better. In fact, one can easily see that they do not work simply by observing the overwhelming congestion every day. The overuse of humps, chicanes, raised islands, lane narrowers and painted road markings has made traffic flow a nightmare. Perhaps it is intentional, but it is certainly mis-guided.

Normally, I do not drive in London. I do not own a car but I do occasionally travel by bus and taxi. Besides, even I am smart enough to figure out that exhaust fumes increase dramatically when traffic stands still.

The sheer volume of road markings and signs caught my attention one morning when I noticed a freshly re-paved road in Fulham Broadway. The work crews had just laid new asphalt the day before and the street remained refreshingly unadorned by lines, cross-hatching, arrows, bollards and other often unintelligible markings and structures. How nice it would be, I thought, if the street could remain like this, un-scarred by the blight of paint and superfluous steel and concrete.

It turns out I'm not the only one who thinks this. Dutch traffic engineer Hans Monderman, who died last month, had long advocated stripping roads of signs and markings and letting traffic, both vehicle and pedestrian, flow naturally. "If you treat road users like idiots, they act as idiots," he was quoted as saying.

His theories proved successful in the Netherlands, and Kensington and Chelsea in London has also begun to embrace his ideas. Kensington High Street is better and safer since "safety" equipment like guardrails, white lines and signposts have been stripped out, although they still have a ways to go in the rest of the borough and cannot seem to put down the paint can.

Monderman proposed that we manage traffice in ways consistent with other approaches to dealing with complex systems. You cannot control them, but you can achieve a desired outcome by allowing them to organise around "attractors." Complex, interactive systems prove remarkably adaptive and self-organising, and order truly does arise from chaos.

His ideas:

1. Remove signs: The architecture of the road - not signs and signals - dictates traffic flow
2. Install art: The height of the fountain indicates how congested the intersection is.
3. Share the spotlight: Lights illuminate not only the roadbed, but also the pedestrian areas.
4. Do it in the road: Cafe's extend to the edge of the street, further emphasizing the idea of shared space.
5. See eye to eye: Right-of-way is negotiated by human interaction, rather than commonly ignored signs.
6. Eliminate curbs: Instead of a raised curb, sidewalks are denoted by texture and colour

These ideas make great sense. Not only do they work, eliminating the unsightly clutter of paint and signs makes the streetscape more appealing. I can only hope that the people responsible for managing London's roads get the message. Are you listening Transport for London?

The Count Returns

It seems that I am not the only one who thinks Avram Grant bears an eerie resemblance to Bela Lugosi. Today's News of the World ran this item complete with comparison headshots (just like we did in our previous post):

FANGTASY

The Israeli media likened Avram Grant's return home for a coaching course to Tom Hanks going back to Hollywood to learn to act. We prefer a comparison to Dracula actor Bela Lugosi.

Unfortunately, I cannot find the article on the News of the World website; otherwise I would provide you with a link. It seems to have appeared only in the print edition.

Just remember, you heard it here first.

You're Sure This Is a Good Idea?

Overheard in Leadenhall Street:

Engineer #1: Demolishing buildings is so boring when we can't use explosives.

Engineer #2: You said it!

Engineer #1: Hey, I've got an idea. . .

Trendy Schmendy

During a recent trip to Trieste, Italy, instead of staying in my usual hotel, a self-styled "grand hotel," but really just a faded, traditional old hotel, I inexplicably opted to try something different. Bad idea.

While my usual hotel may be a little worn down and the service sometimes erratic, it definitely possesses a degree of charm. I have become accustomed to it and they make me feel comfortable, which is why I continue to stay there.

To say the least, the new hotel is different. They created it by renovating an old stone building, so it does retain a little bit of character, but the designers have tried really hard to make the place "hip" and "urban." Now, this works in places like South Beach and Soho, but it doesn't quite make it in Trieste, which, let's face it, remains a bit of a backwater.

For starters, they have eliminated the traditional front desk, replacing it with a table in the middle of the lobby with a couple of laptop computers. I'm not sure why this set-up has become so popular in these types of hotels but I'm seeing it more and more, not only in hotels like this, but in more traditional ones as well.

The most defining feature, however, is overwhelming whiteness. Whitewashed walls stand unadorned by decoration, both in the lobby and in the rooms. A white bedspread covers white sheets on a white bed flanked by white tables. And don't forget the white fluorescent lights.

The resulting effect resembles more a hospital operating room than a hotel room. I feared I would wake up missing a kidney, the surgical staff having come round during the night and removed it.

Next time, I'm back to the old standby, thank you. Boring, I know, but at least I will sleep.

I'm a Simpsons Character!

This is what I look like as a Simpson's character. It's craptastic.

You can try it yourself here.