Rush and the Wingnuts

Wacko Andrew Klavan wrote an opinion piece in the LA Times Sunday saying that he knows with "certainty" that liberals who oppose Rush Limbaugh have not actually listened to him, even if they say they have.

He goes on to berate and insult Rush's detractors:

You don't need to listen to him. You've heard enough to know he's a) racist, b) hateful, c) stupid, d) merely an outrageous entertainer not to be taken seriously or e) all of the above.

Now let me tell you the real answer: You're a lowdown, yellow-bellied, lily-livered intellectual coward. You're terrified of finding out he makes more sense than you do.

I listen to Limbaugh every chance I get, and I have never heard the man utter a single racist, hateful or stupid word.

Now, I don't know who this guy is or who he's actually been listening to, but I have listened to Rush Limbaugh. I also watch Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck sometimes too (ick!) because I like to know what these guys are thinking (I use the term loosely) and saying.

After listening, I believe that regardless of whether or not he really is any of these things, Limbaugh says things that make him appear to be a) racist, b) hateful, c) stupid, d) merely an outrageous entertainer not to be taken seriously and e) all of the above. Also f) delusional, g) deranged and h) untruthful.

But perhaps I'm wrong about d). People really do take these guys seriously. It's scary.

TOTUS

I've been reading a lot about how President Obama makes extensive use of teleprompters, even for brief presentations or announcements.

Of course, because of this, it's now become a meme of the right-wing idocracy that he needs a teleprompter because he cannot speak extemporaneously or form coherent thoughts without it. The more extreme among them expose the theory that teleprompters are necessary because the vast left-wing conspiracy secretly running the country uses them to control what he says.

Never mind that their guy could barely string two words together and their great Alaskan hope has proven herself totally incapable of uttering an even remotely comprehensible phase, but I digress.

Anyway, Barack Obama's teleprompter (TOTUS - the Teleprompter of the United States) has a blog, Barack Obama's Teleprompter's Blog: Reflections from the hard drive of the machine that enables the voice of the Leader of the Free World

Now we can get the real scoop without the presidential filter, directly from the source.

Aggie 2.0

Crikey! Now one of my cats has decided to become a blogger.

Yesterday she e-mailed me to tell me she didn't like the brand of food we use.

The next thing you know she'll be sending me tweets from Twitter. I wonder if she will let me be her Facebook friend?

I will draw the line at a mobile phone though.

The Life of Aggie.

Clean Gas

At last, a baseball park giveaway item that we can really use.

MLB.com's Benjamin Hill reports that the Lake Elsinore Storm, a California minor league team will be giving away fart absorbers to go with their their weekly "Fat Tuesday" all-you-can-eat food promotion. According to the team's press release:

You can probably deduce that All-You-Can-Eat ballpark food might lead to substantial gas emissions, which is where corporate sponsor, Subtle Butt, enters the picture. Made of activated carbon fabric, each disposable 3.25" square shield is held onto the inside of the underwear with two self-adhesive strips. Subtle Butt effectively filters flatulence, absorbing and neutralizing its odor.

Therefore, the first 250 fans in attendance at every "Fat Tuesday" ballgame (the first is on April 14, mark your calendars) will receive a free product sample of Subtle Butt.

At fist I thought this must be a joke, but this product really does exist. You just tape it to the inside of your underpants and blast away odour free!

The View From Above

From the BBC:

An 18-year-old has secretly painted a 60ft drawing of a phallus on the roof of his parents' £1million mansion in Berkshire. It was there for a year before his parents found out. They say he'll have to scrub it off when he gets back from travelling.

Money and Happiness

I knew it! Apparently money can buy happiness after all.

The LA Times reports that a recent study of more that 350,000 Americans shows a strong correlation between happiness and financial well-being.

Of course it's a bit more complicated than that, but the data show that those living in geographical areas with low unemployment and higher relative incomes report higher levels of happiness.

The happiest place? Utah (go figure), with an unemployment rate way below the national average. Hawaii is next, for obvious reasons, but also with high income and employment.

Bring up the rear with the worst sense of well-being is West Virginia, followed by Michigan, Ohio, Mississippi and Kentucky, all states who's economies have tanked.

So if I save my money and move to Mississippi, will I feel rich and happy?

Fat Chav Insurance

I'm sure that motor insurance claims adjusters see some amusing claim reports. However, the Telegraph reports that a claim submitted to insurer AIG in the UK aroused enough interest for the claim handler to leak it onto the internet.

In the claim form, the claimant not only describes the driver of the car he hit as a"fat chav who definately (sic) does not have whiplash," he includes a cartoon drawing of the scene with cars labeled "fat chav" and "me," and the other driver saying "Ooooh I'm a freeloading fat chav who doesn't have whiplash."

AIG says they are investigating the leak, but I suspect they've got more important things to do, given they're about to report a $60 billion loss this quarter, the largest in corporate history!

Time to Rough It

Both the UK's Guardian and the New York Times tell us that Americans' toilet habits are ruining the planet.

It seems that Americans only like to use soft and fluffy toilet paper on their pampered and delicate backsides. Unfortunately, this luxury has an environmental cost. 98% of American toilet paper comes from virgin forests, while 40% of the loo rolls used by Europeans comes from recycled paper.

The Guardian quotes Allen Hershkowitz, a senior scientist at the Natural Resources Defence Council saying:

"Future generations are going to look at the way we make toilet paper as one of the greatest excesses of our age. Making toilet paper from virgin wood is a lot worse than driving Hummers in terms of global warming pollution." Making toilet paper has a significant impact because of chemicals used in pulp manufacture and cutting down forests.

Fortunately, Greenpeace has launched an awareness campaign including a downloadable ecological ranking of toilet paper products that can help us choose wisely. Hollywood also did its part during the Academy Awards: the toilet paper used in the Kodak Theater’s toilets was 100 percent recycled.

Even though I'm American, I think I'm off the hook as I live in London where the toilet paper is rough-and-ready. Nonetheless, I'll be checking its ecological credentials today. And next time you see that cute little puppy playing with the loo roll, just think ecological destruction.