Too Cool

I know that I've said I'm too sophisticated to care about seeing celebrities (and I am), but you may want to know that I have been in close proximity to a few well-known personalities in the past few months.

I sat near Jude Law in an airport lounge, stood behind Paul McCartney in the security queue at Heathrow (yes, they made him queue and even frisked him) and sat across the aisle from Orlando Bloom on a flight.

Of course I did not take pictures or acknowledge them in any way. I'm way too cool for that.

Last Call

UK's Metro tells of a pub landlord who, after spending his whole life in the pub where he was born, decided he wanted to spend eternity there as well.

The article explains:

The 83-year-old's last order was that his ashes were laid beneath the flagstone floor of the pub. His final resting place is now under a plaque reading "Stand here and have a drink on me."

A fitting end!

Rick Roll

Have you been Rick Roll'd yet?

Once again, I'm incredibly behind the curve. I just just found out about this popular internet meme that has been going on for some time now. Even more embarrassingly, until I heard about the Rick Roll, I didn't even know what a meme was.

As this article in the Guardian explains:

It's called the "rick-roll". You're innocently browsing an apparently useful website and see a link to something else that might be of interest, but when you click through to that destination you instead find yourself confronted with Astley's boyish smile, his manly croon, his awkward 1987 dance-moves.

The link was a fake, a trap, a dummy with the nefarious purpose of...bringing you face-to-face with the ridiculous.

You can find out more about this phenomenon here.

Merry Christmas

Calfornia Christmas

Goodbye clouds and rain!

Today I'm leaving for California. Normally, I spend Christmas in the cold, snowy Midwest, but this year my extended family and I will impose ourselves on relatives in Monterey County. It's not the warm sunshine of Los Angeles, but it will still be pretty nice.

And hey, it sure beats the usual.

It’s a Pitiful, Dreadful Life

Since I first watched the film sometime in my early teens, I've been a great fan of Frank Capra's "It's A Wonderful Life" starring James Stewart and Donna Reed. For those who have never seen it, Stewart plays George Baily, a frustrated small-town businessman with unfulfilled dreams.

When faced with financial ruin, George attempts suicide, thinking that the world would be better off if he'd never been born. Fortunately, his guardian angel saves him from death and shows him what the world would look like if indeed he had never been born, causing George to appreciate how full and important his life has actually been.

This is truly a brilliant film and, although a bit schmaltzy, never fails to entertain and lift my spirits, even after twenty or thirty viewings. At least that's what I always thought.

Wendell Jamieson in the New York Times posits a different take on the film. He says:

“It’s a Wonderful Life” is a terrifying, asphyxiating story about growing up and relinquishing your dreams, of seeing your father driven to the grave before his time, of living among bitter, small-minded people. It is a story of being trapped, of compromising, of watching others move ahead and away, of becoming so filled with rage that you verbally abuse your children, their teacher and your oppressively perfect wife. It is also a nightmare account of an endless home renovation.

I must admit he's right. I should have realised this earlier, especially as my favourite line in the film is when George says to Mary: "You call this a happy family? Why do we have to have all these kids!" And surely anyone can see that alternate-world Pottersville is a much more fun and exciting place than exceedingly dull (film) real-life Bedford Falls.

Maybe the real message of the film is "Sure, life sucks, but it's all you've got, so make the best of it!"

Not that it matters. I still love this film and can't wait to see it again!

Speed Racer

UK's Metro reports that a man in Cleveland has been fined for driving his motorised sofa to a Browns game. It seems the sofa's owner usually just drives his "go-kouch" around the parking lot during the pre-game tailgate parties, but this time he decided to drive it down the street to the stadium.

He encountered problems when a police officer cited him for driving an unregistered vehicle and having expired license plates. Kill-joy! Although I think he should have got credit for even having license plates at all, expired or not.

Here's the video:



Of course, this is far from the worst driving offence I've seen reported. I especially like the story of the Estonian man arrested twice by police. CNN reported a police spokeswoman as saying, "We arrested the same blind man driving his car again on Saturday. . . He was drunk."

Presented Without Comment

(thanks to WhatCrisciLikes)

$50 Billion Pyramid

In these times when institutions and individuals have lost billions by over-leveraged investing in complex financial derivatives, it's interesting to see that some people still manage to lose money the old-fashioned way--in a pyramid scheme.

When federal agents arrested Bernard Madoff in New York last week, it brought an end to what may be the largest fraud scheme in Wall Street history in which investors may have lost up to $50 billion.

In the same vein, I've since learned about an even more unsophisticated way to lose money: a ponzi crawl.

The Urban Dictionary defines a ponzi crawl as:

A pub crawl that adds a new person to buy a round at each location. Each new person is promised that they will get free drinks at all the future bars if they buy this round. Obviously, whoever joins the ponzi crawl last gets screwed!

Let's get some suckers to buy us beer on a ponzi crawl this weekend.

While increasingly complex and sophisticated ways to swindle people out of money will continue to emerge, the tried and true remain steadfastly reliable.

A Very Chav-y Christmas

The Evening Standard reports:

A SCHOOL has created a "Chav Nativity" play containing alcopops, Jesus turning water into lager and Mary labelled a "slapper". . . In it Mary tells the Archangel Gabriel to "stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no Kappa-slapper" when he informs her she is expecting a child, before her cousin Liz encourages her to go through with the pregnancy because of the "extra benefits".

Instead of a stable, Mary and Joseph break into a garridge (sic) where the Three Wise Men or "these free geezers", as they are known, come bearing gifts only to have Joseph reprimand them for not bringing Adidas and Burberry instead of "Frankenstein an' myrrh".

Students studied the play set in "Beflehem" in drama lessons focused on use of language, but of course, some parents have objected. Seems they're concerned about the school condoning improper speaking. I think they need to lighten-up and focus on something important.

You can read an extract of the play in the article here. My favourite line: Gabriel says to Mary, "You got one up the duff, you have."

This is really brilliant. I wish I were clever enough to write stuff like this.

Dining with the Rat Pack

During my recent California sojourn, I had dinner at Dan Tana's Restaurant, the self-proclaimed "ultimate Hollywood hangout" with "a client list that reads like a Who’s Who of Hollywood."

I'm always skeptical of restaurants that hype themselves this way, but apparently, proper A-list celebrities actually do eat here.

More importantly, Dan Tana's delivered on both food and experience. The small dining room with red leather banquettes and the professional and efficient waiters make it feel like you're back in 1965 - I half expected Dean Martin (a regular customer in his day) to walk in any minute.

And while some have criticised the food, predominately old-school southern Italian red sauce and garlic, as mediocre, we found our dinners to be quite tasty. My fried calamari starter was great and the New York strip steak (named after actor Dabney Coleman) stood out as possibly the best I've had anywhere.

Although we didn't see any celebrities (that's not why we went anyway - we're way too sophisticated for that), we enjoyed a great meal and a terrific time. Hat tip to my pal Steve for taking us there! I can't wait to go back.

A Milestone

The site's visitor counter just passed 500!

Now I know that many of these visits are from me. Although the counter does not include visits from my browser, sometimes I check-in on the site from other computers (vanity).

And granted, I've noticed that many visitors leave after only one second, so they either landed here by mistake or really don't like what they see.

Nonetheless, people have come, and have come from many diverse geographies. Improbably, some even stay to read this stuff, which amazes me given the craptacular nature of the material.

So, thanks to all of you who take the time to read this drivel. I'll attempt to keep posting on a not-too-irregular basis, which I hope will provide you with at least some mild amusement.

City of Water

I am fortunate to travel to Venice fairly regularly. Although I have not visited for a few weeks, I've found the pictures of the recent flooding there pretty scary. While the city normally experiences some flooding during high tides, this month's floods are the worst in decades, and the city has been virtually under water for nearly two weeks.

The Venetians, of course, have reacted with their usual aplomb, and have remarkably tried to live their lives as normally as possible. And while the city's mayor warned-off tourists last week, hotels are now trying to lure them back with special offers and free rubber boots.

Events like this remind me of this beautiful and unique city's fragility. I'm glad that I have the opportunity to enjoy it now -- who knows how long it will be around?

California Dreaming

As much as I like London in Winter, sometimes it gets a bit tiresome.

Returning to London can seem especially harsh after spending nearly a week in the southern California sunshine and warmth.

Is it possible to be homesick for someplace that's never been your home?

Perhaps it's time for a change in scenery.

That's All Folks

Is this the best epitaph ever?

I spotted this headstone while wandering through the Hollywood Memorial Park Cemetery, now called Hollywood Forever Memorial Park, during a recent visit to Los Angeles.

For those who may not know, Mel Blanc provided the voices for Bugs Bunny, Porky Pig and the other Warner Brothers cartoon characters. The epitaph echoes the famous sign-off from the Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies cartoons. Very witty and appropriate!

I've since learned that it this is in fact a very well-known, even famous, epitaph. Still, it was new to me and I got a good laugh from it. Note the carrot placed at the base of the tombstone, presumably left in tribute by a fan. Nice touch.

Many personalities from the entertainment industry lay buried in this cemetery located adjacent to Paramount Studios, including famous names from "old Hollywood" like Rudolph Valentino, Douglas Fairbanks, Peter Lorre, and Tyrone Power. It's a uniquely Hollywood place and well worth a visit if you're in the area.